Every spring women everywhere begin their pursuit of the perfect swimsuit. What was once about fabulous fashion is now, for me, about form and function. I think most adult women (supermodels excluded) find this pursuit challenging and even frustrating to say the least, but for women over 50 it seems almost impossible. I’m beginning to think that swimsuit designers are under the impression that women over 50 just don’t go swimming. (Maybe it’s because they wouldn’t be caught dead in the swimsuits that are available out there.) Well, I for one, love the beach and my family has a pool, so I am not ready to throw in the beach towel just yet. And so I began my search. I chose the internet over the mall; I thought it would be the least traumatic way to go. First I googled “swimsuits”. I was bombarded by a plethora of options to choose from: bikinis, one piece, two piece, tankini, bandau, halter, boy cut, skirt, straps, keyhole, lined, wires, thong (ha!), strapless, tank…..I could see immediately that I needed to narrow my search. Next I searched for “swimwear for women over 50”. Ugh! They all start in a size 10 and are made of hideous fabrics. Does a swimsuit really have to have a palm leaf and large bright red flower on it? Even though I am over 50, I happen to be 5’1 and a size 6, does that mean I have to choose between a suit that is three sizes too large or scraps of fabric tied together from the JR section? Just because we are more “mature” does not mean that we no longer recognize what is attractive. The majority of women my age, can generally rule out a bikini. There are of course exceptions. I think most of us have seen the photo of 62 year old Helen Mirren in her red two piece but for me, a bikini is not an option. Not that I by any definition would describe my body as “bikini ready” but it is really less about what I could wear and more about what I should wear. My views on modestly have greatly evolved over the years. For me it is not to debate the length of a skirt or the plunge of a neckline, but to try to understand modesty as God commands it and what that looks like for me. This could be an entire blog post in itself, but for now, my swimsuit search. I also tried googling “modest swimwear” and found suits with more fabric than my winter coat. I just don’t think that would be comfortable or practical for me. Ok, I’ve ruled out swim dresses and bikinis, so I move on to the one piece. There are a few problems I see with these. First, I keep feeling the need to pull them up or down – either way something is showing that I really don’t want to share. I need a suit that will stay in place, even when I am diving or playing with the kids. Also, what used to appear sleek, now looks like the suit has a built in floatation device around my middle. That is not attractive. Next, I come across a line of “slimerizers”. Given the issue with the one piece, this sounds like a good idea but let me tell you it is scientifically proven that if you squeeze something somewhere, it will come out somewhere else. ‘Nuff said. I have ruled out wires and pads. I would just like a nice lining. High cut legs are also high maintenance. All I want is a suit that fits properly, is modest, age appropriate, comfortable, flattering to my size and shape, and reasonably priced – is that too much to ask??? I might as well be asking for world peace. Well, I still have not found the perfect suit but I am leaning towards a tankini, not too low cut, in a slightly longer length, paired with boy cut bottoms in a classic black and white fabric. Now all I have to do is save the $100 average price tag for less than ½ a yards’ worth of fabric. Ah, once again the joys of being a woman.

This week I celebrated my 50^th birthday. A year ago after what seemed to be the worst birthday of my life (which had nothing to do with my age) I began making plans for my fiftieth to ensure that it would be my best birthday ever. I informed my family that the following year they would be throwing me the biggest birthday party ever (yeah, I’m bossy like that). We would invite everyone who was or had ever been an important part of my life.The guest list would be like “this is your life, Debbie Hyde!" There would be lots of food and drink and music - a HUGE celebration with all of the people that I love. Thinking about that wonderful party got me through my 49^th birthday and the months to follow.

Before the end of my birthday month, I moved into a little guest house on a ranch in Chappell Hill, Texas. By May a long and agonizing divorce was finally over. By July, I purchased an 80 year old bungalo and began the process of making it my own. Soon it was autumn and I prepared for a visit from three of my dearest friends. Fall also brought more change and I accepted a new job offer and by December I left my beloved Imago Dei. The holidays brought lots of family celebration and in January we welcomed the newest member of our family Henry Wisdom Hyde. I thought the winter would never end. Cold weather and family illness, some days seemed so bleak. Finally, spring time! Easter and family and sunshine! My family asked if they should begin to plan my party? I pictured the huge extravaganza in my head and smiled to myself and answered, “I would really rather just have a quiet dinner at home.” And so we did.

At the end of the evening, my five year old grandson, Jonas asked if he could read me a bedtime story. He chose “Curious George’s Birthday Surprise".

It was undoubtedly the best birthday ever.

Well here it is, my first attempt at blogging. I am fully aware that even as I write these words, the rest of the world has probably already moved on from blogging to the next greatest thing. Lucky for me, I was never the girl that jumped off the bridge just because everyone else was doing it, I was the girl who either jumped first, or waited until I was good and ready even if all my friends had moved on to another bridge. Well, I think I'm good and ready now to add my two cents worth into the fountain of opinion and information.

That is why we blog, isn't it? We all feel as though we have something to say, something to contribute that someone, somewhere might be interested in knowing. I realize that is an over generalization. The question for me is really more "why blog now?". Well, now for me happens to be the beginning of my fifty-first year of life, a new decade. I realize that I live in a culture where women don't really like to talk about such things, at least not in a positive way. I, on the other hand, am actually rather excited about it. Each decade has been like a new piece of the puzzle that eventually becomes ..... me. The shape changes every year (literally and figuratively) and I get a little better idea of what the big picture looks like.

I was recently inspired by a sweet friend of mine who chronicled "30 in 30", thirty things she had never done before, in her 30th year. (thank you Anh). It made me think about all of the new experiences we all have every day, at every age - many of which that go unnoticed or unappreciated. Fifty (or 30 or 80, for that matter) is not an age of missed opportunities and "what-ifs", it is an age of possibilities and new adventures. I have recently made choices to direct my life on a simpler, less complicated path. I do not in any way believe that this path will make my life less interesting. I have a beautiful life, but if you blink, you might miss it. For me, this blog is a place where I can bring pause to some of the simple and not so simple things that make my life uniquely mine, in hopes that you may take the moment to enjoy your own beautiful life.