Every spring women everywhere begin their pursuit of the perfect swimsuit. What was once about fabulous fashion is now, for me, about form and function. I think most adult women (supermodels excluded) find this pursuit challenging and even frustrating to say the least, but for women over 50 it seems almost impossible. I’m beginning to think that swimsuit designers are under the impression that women over 50 just don’t go swimming. (Maybe it’s because they wouldn’t be caught dead in the swimsuits that are available out there.) Well, I for one, love the beach and my family has a pool, so I am not ready to throw in the beach towel just yet. And so I began my search. I chose the internet over the mall; I thought it would be the least traumatic way to go. First I googled “swimsuits”. I was bombarded by a plethora of options to choose from: bikinis, one piece, two piece, tankini, bandau, halter, boy cut, skirt, straps, keyhole, lined, wires, thong (ha!), strapless, tank…..I could see immediately that I needed to narrow my search. Next I searched for “swimwear for women over 50”. Ugh! They all start in a size 10 and are made of hideous fabrics. Does a swimsuit really have to have a palm leaf and large bright red flower on it? Even though I am over 50, I happen to be 5’1 and a size 6, does that mean I have to choose between a suit that is three sizes too large or scraps of fabric tied together from the JR section? Just because we are more “mature” does not mean that we no longer recognize what is attractive. The majority of women my age, can generally rule out a bikini. There are of course exceptions. I think most of us have seen the photo of 62 year old Helen Mirren in her red two piece but for me, a bikini is not an option. Not that I by any definition would describe my body as “bikini ready” but it is really less about what I could wear and more about what I should wear. My views on modestly have greatly evolved over the years. For me it is not to debate the length of a skirt or the plunge of a neckline, but to try to understand modesty as God commands it and what that looks like for me. This could be an entire blog post in itself, but for now, my swimsuit search. I also tried googling “modest swimwear” and found suits with more fabric than my winter coat. I just don’t think that would be comfortable or practical for me. Ok, I’ve ruled out swim dresses and bikinis, so I move on to the one piece. There are a few problems I see with these. First, I keep feeling the need to pull them up or down – either way something is showing that I really don’t want to share. I need a suit that will stay in place, even when I am diving or playing with the kids. Also, what used to appear sleek, now looks like the suit has a built in floatation device around my middle. That is not attractive. Next, I come across a line of “slimerizers”. Given the issue with the one piece, this sounds like a good idea but let me tell you it is scientifically proven that if you squeeze something somewhere, it will come out somewhere else. ‘Nuff said. I have ruled out wires and pads. I would just like a nice lining. High cut legs are also high maintenance. All I want is a suit that fits properly, is modest, age appropriate, comfortable, flattering to my size and shape, and reasonably priced – is that too much to ask??? I might as well be asking for world peace. Well, I still have not found the perfect suit but I am leaning towards a tankini, not too low cut, in a slightly longer length, paired with boy cut bottoms in a classic black and white fabric. Now all I have to do is save the $100 average price tag for less than ½ a yards’ worth of fabric. Ah, once again the joys of being a woman.